Sometimes when I present a course, I cover emotional intelligence (EI). At times, and with particular audiences, I sense discomfort though it isn’t always clear why. What has emotional intelligence got to do with leadership in tough circumstances?
Facilitating at a shipyard in South Australia, I learned that the previous foreman’s EI skills drew on his prowess as the “Aussie Rules” local hero. At the start of the shift, his bellowed threats and paint-stripping cusses were what got his team into the appropriate frame of mind.
This anecdote was, most likely, a hint.
Was it caused by a misunderstanding of EI? Healthy skepticism? “I don’t do emotions”? Or “kindness is weakness”? Their reaction was as if I was suggesting the manager/team leader buy flowers for his workers and gently place a chocolate on their pillow at night.
On occasions like these that I use an example of “emotional intelligence” in extremis to show that EI is about real leadership.
It comes from Six Days in June by James O’Connell, about the Parachute Regiment’s assault on Mount Longdon during the Falklands War (June 1982). O’Connell took part and was wounded in the battle and later complied the accounts of his comrades in time sequence and created an absorbing account of soldiers in the most trying circumstances. It revealed – way beyond mere theory – that even the best plans are smashed on contact with the enemy and that no one had a clear picture of what was going on until it was almost over.
This part of the story was told by Private Craig (Tommy) Onions, then aged 19, whose job was to bring dead and wounded down Mount Longdon to the relative “safety” of the Regimental Aid Post (R.A.P.), He said:
“We were bringing Corporal Graham Heaton down to the aid post on a stretcher when we got caught in an artillery barrage. We all dropped to the ground, Pete Marshall and I lay across Corporal Heaton to shield him. Some of the peat and debris from the explosions landed on top of us. We judged when it was relatively safe to move, and then picked the stretcher up and began running to the R.A.P. When we reached the R.A.P it was chaos, there were lots of wounded. CSgt Faulkner shouted, “Right, take him over there,” and pointed us to one of the doctors. We left Graham. At that moment, I just slumped against a rock, and my emotions caught up with me. The tears ran down my face. CSgt Faulkner spotted me and shouted, “What the f–king hell’s up with you? Get back up there.” I couldn’t talk; I’d really lost it. Dick Granger said, “CSgt, he’s just seen Chris Lovett killed, he’s a bit upset.” Brian Faulkner was a good friend of Chris Lovett. He changed his tone completely and said to someone, “Right you, make him a brew and sit him over there.” He then came and sat with me and asked me what had happened. He was very kind to me. After a short while I felt a bit better. Brian rubbed his hands and said in a nice way, “Right, get your arse back up that mountain.”
From “Three days in June (Falklands war)” by James O’Connell
So Onions got his “arse back up that mountain” and he did his job.
Had CSgt Faulkner decided to “beast” his subordinate into compliance, the outcome would have likely been worse with consequences not just on the day, but for many years afterwards. Time out, a cup of sweet tea and a chat was not soft but a way to lead a young man through battle shock. It’s a reminder that leadership isn’t about the leader, nor what he or she wants, but what he or she does to put the follower into the frame of mind to do their job.
Photo credit: Yuriy Rzhemovskiy on Unsplash