Leadership coaching for managers facing real situations
Leadership can become difficult very quickly when the problem is no longer theoretical. A difficult colleague, an employee who will not respond, pressure from senior management, a conversation you are avoiding, or uncertainty about how to exercise authority can occupy far more attention than it should.
I provide practical, confidential coaching for managers and supervisors who want to think more clearly about what is happening, decide how they want to handle it and prepare themselves to act effectively.
The emphasis is on the situation in front of you. We may draw on leadership frameworks, management experience, rehearsal, reflection or practical techniques, but the purpose is always to help you deal better with the work you are actually doing.
When coaching can help
Coaching is often most useful when a capable manager knows that something needs to change but is not yet sure how best to approach it. The issue may be immediate and practical, or it may be a recurring pattern that is beginning to affect confidence or effectiveness.
A difficult situation needs handling
A manager may be preparing for a difficult conversation, dealing with conflict, struggling with an employee’s behaviour or wondering how firmly to respond to someone more senior. Coaching provides space to work through the situation before acting — including rehearsing the conversation where that is useful.
Responsibility has changed
Promotion can alter relationships very quickly. Someone who was previously one of the team may now be expected to delegate, set standards, give feedback and exercise authority. Coaching can help him or her understand the new responsibility and find a way of leading that is both effective and authentic.
Confidence and judgement are getting in the way
Sometimes the difficulty is not lack of technical ability. A manager may rush when under pressure, become intimidated by senior colleagues, avoid decisions or allow frustration to affect the way he or she communicates. Coaching can help create enough space to see what is happening and respond more deliberately.
The objective is not to provide somebody with a script for every situation. It is to help him or her develop the judgement and habits needed to handle future situations better.
How I coach
My approach is practical and responsive to the person and situation in front of me. I do not work from the assumption that a coach should only ask questions and never offer a view. Sometimes the most useful thing is a question. Sometimes it is a framework, an example, a challenge, a rehearsal or a piece of practical advice.
Start with the situation
We begin with what is actually happening: the people involved, the pressures, what has already been tried and what the manager is finding difficult. The aim is to understand the situation properly before reaching for a technique or model.
Think before acting
Coaching creates space between the immediate reaction and the eventual response. We can examine assumptions, separate what is known from what is merely feared or inferred, and consider what outcome the manager is actually trying to achieve.
Rehearse where it helps
Important conversations often improve with practice. We can rehearse different approaches, test wording, use pauses deliberately and prepare for likely responses so that the real conversation is less likely to be driven by nerves or frustration.
Review and learn
Afterwards, we look at what happened: what worked, what did not, what the manager noticed and what he or she would do differently next time. The purpose is not to rewrite the past, but to become better at recognising and handling similar situations in future.
The aim is not dependence on a coach. It is stronger judgement, greater self-awareness and increasing confidence in handling leadership situations independently.
What coaching can cover
Leadership coaching can focus on a particular issue or work across a broader pattern of development. The emphasis is always on what will make the greatest practical difference to the manager’s effectiveness.
- difficult conversations and conflict;
- delegation and accountability;
- giving feedback and addressing poor performance;
- confidence with senior colleagues;
- managing upwards;
- communication under pressure;
- negotiation;
- meetings and time management;
- handling frustration and emotional reactions;
- preparing for promotion or a larger leadership role;
- working through an unfamiliar management situation;
- reflecting on what happened and preparing for next time.
Coaching can also be useful when there is no immediate crisis. Some managers simply want a confidential, experienced sounding board as their responsibilities increase.
The subject matter can vary. The purpose is consistent: better judgement and more effective leadership in the situations that matter now.
Coaching arrangements
Coaching is usually conducted by Zoom or Microsoft Teams, although face-to-face sessions can be arranged where practical.
An engagement can begin with a single issue or a short series of sessions. Where an organisation is commissioning coaching for a manager, we agree the purpose, boundaries and confidentiality arrangements before the first coaching conversation.
Confidentiality matters because useful coaching depends on the participant being able to discuss uncertainty, mistakes and difficult situations openly. Any agreed exceptions or reporting arrangements are made clear in advance rather than changed later.
The arrangement should be substantial enough to be useful, but no longer than the manager needs it.
What this can look like in practice
Managers often already know what they ought to do. The difficulty is doing it when the situation becomes real, such as when a conversation moves quickly, emotions rise or somebody puts them under pressure. Coaching provides an opportunity to understand those reactions, rehearse alternatives and make a different response more readily available when the moment arrives. For example:
A difficult peer relationship. A young supervisor was losing sleep over the aggressive behaviour of a more experienced colleague. We rehearsed how she could respond assertively. When the situation later came to a head, she instantly recognised the situation, remained composed, the colleague subsequently apologised, and she was able to establish a clearer boundary for their working relationship.
Confidence with senior management. An experienced operational supervisor was technically capable but became less assured in the presence of senior people. Simply telling him to “be more confident” would have achieved little. We explored what happened to him in those encounters and rehearsed practical ways of creating thinking time before responding. Pausing was one technique, but the larger change was learning that he did not have to react immediately simply because somebody senior was waiting for an answer.
Frustration with an employee. Another supervisor understood perfectly well that he should remain professional with an unreliable employee, yet his frustration was apparent even when we rehearsed imaginary situations. The work therefore went beyond knowing the correct management response. We worked on separating his emotional reaction from the leadership task, so that what he felt did not automatically determine what he said or did.
Examples are drawn from previous coaching work. Identifying details have been omitted or changed to preserve confidentiality.
Discuss your situation
If you are dealing with a particular leadership problem, or considering coaching for a manager or supervisor in your organisation, I am happy to discuss what is happening and whether I am likely to be able to help.
There is no need to diagnose the problem before getting in touch. Often the first useful step is simply to describe what you are seeing.
Mark Sutherland 